Is Newsweek's Fareed Zakaria Really Actor Willem Dafoe?

Or vice versa?

Dear Scarface:

by JP

Dear Scarface:

First of all, sorry about not keeping in better touch; I've had my plate pretty full as of late. I hope you understand...I know you can have a bit of a short fuse sometimes, and you can be kinda hard to be around when you get into one of your "everyone is plotting against me" moods. But hey--we all get in our funks, right? Plus, it's not like you're exactly hurting for friends...face it: you're popular. People love seeing you. You walk into a room--instant party. They love talking about you. Quoting you. Comparing themselves to you.

Which brings me to the main issue I have with what you've become: people using your name in vain...evoking your name in situations where it really shouldn't apply. Example: I was recently walking through the lobby of a theater after seeing American Gangster (I think you'd really like it, BTW), and a teenager walking behind me said to his friend: "It was alright I guess, but it wasn't as good as Scarface. Denzel only killed, like, one dude, yo." I think I get his point: riveting as the movie is, it can't compare to you at your Grand Guignol best. BUT...whereas American Gangster was based on a true story (I know I'm opening myself up here to a whole debate on "dramatic license," but just give me a pass on this one, okay?), you are unmistakably--and please don't take this the wrong way--a caricature. Okay, I know the world of international drug trafficking can get messy, and the Pablo Escobars of the world have set the bar pretty high as far as wanton slaughter go, I'll give you that. But at best, you're a composite character (and a pretty over-stylized one at that). Sorry.

I'll be the first to admit; I've never seen you from beginning to end as you were meant to be seen. Our relationship has been limited to 30-minute portions aired on basic cable stations, so you're totally right--I haven't fully appreciated you. BUT...I think I still "get" you, and a part of me loves you for the complexity...you're serious and not averse to some heavy geopolitical discourse. You're also a helluva lotta fun, you've got swagger, and hey...I love a good chainsaw dismemberment as much as the next person. You changed a lot of things, and you continue to bring joy to people. But did you seriously expect it to get this out of hand? Action figures? Video games? Mosaic-tile murals on the bottoms of swimming pools?

I know you can't help some of it anymore than a majestic snow-capped mountain can keep people from wanting to climb it. But it can still shrug its shoulders every once in a while and shake some climbers off. Take that as you will. I guess that's all I really wanted to say.

I think there's still a chance for us to work out. Hope springs eternal, right? (sorry to be cheesy...you're so much better with words than I am)

Still Friends,

JP